New Season or just recycling?

So often I hear the idea that God is bringing someone into a new season of their life. And I have been one of the people that have used this thought as well. But more recently I think that God has been recycling me through things. He seems to give me similar tests as I have been through before. He places the same things on my heart and we start another journey that we have done before. We have been an official adoptive family for over 17 months now. Zeke man was born May 28th and his GOTCHA day was December 14th of last year. It is amazing that it has been 18 months since we found out about Ezekiel but I do believe that God had him placed for us in January 10th of 2012 when our homestudy was done.

We got a call this week from a adoption grant that we used, asking if we would be willing to share our story this year in their newsletter. So this is something new for us but I know that we are excited to share what God did for us and where he showed up when we needed him the most. So as the end of the year hits I wonder if God will bring us a new season into our lives or if he will recycle old dreams and passions again. Maybe I hope for both. I know that God gives me new visions and passions and I know that God will recycle these old amazing passions and dreams that he placed in our lives before.

What am I saying? Most of the time I have no idea and neither does my wife or son. Is it ok if God does not tell us what is next on the journey? Dennis F. Kinlaw shares in his book: Preaching in the Spirit,

"So Abram went out not knowing where he was going, but knowing with WHOM he was going. For a long time I wanted God to show me his will so I could decide whether I liked it or not. Yet each time God said, 'I'm not interested in what you think about my will as much as I am in what you think of me. I don't want you to walk with my will, I want you to walk with me."

I just want to walk with God. I do not need to know his will, as hard as that is at times.

Vertical

I am in the process of reading a book for fun. The odd thing of this is that I am doing this while reading around 8-10 other books for my classes. But as I am reading this I was struck with the idea that I am not seeking God like I need to be. I am not so excited to get to church to meet God and see what he has for me. Some of this comes back to knowing that I will not always be in the adult service because I have the chance to be with my wife and the kids upstairs. But when I do get a chance and know that I will be in the adult service I do get excited. I am so ready to experience what God has for me.

I look at the other adults as they come into the church and I wonder are they excited to be here? Are they ready to experience God today? The thing that hurts is that some of the people I see walk into church look hurt and tired. Looking as though they have had a rough week and need some healing from God. That is still vertical. Whether we are coming to church looking for God to meet us because we are so excited or we are looking to meet with God because we are so tired and weary and just need to be loved on, we are there for God.

I pray that we have God meet us in a fresh and new way. The author shares at the end of one of the chapters, "What they (the people in our church or outside of it) need is to be set free from themselves with finality and to be lost in the awesome wonder of the manifest presence of God."

What would happen if we prayed for this in our churches? We have a prayer time on Wednesday's at our church and what if more people came for this prayer time? What if this prayer time turned our community into a place of revival and would not let our church leave. We have been looking at moving to a new location but maybe it is not time to leave because the community would not miss us yet? Could you imagine a church that had such an impact on its community that they begged the church not to move but rather plant another church in that town.

"My heart is that your palms would get sweaty and your heart would beat faster because you knew God was waiting to meet with you and those you love most in all the world." -Vertical Church

NEW Today!!

I was so blessed to have a chance to go down to my classes almost two weeks ago. The drive is so long and it takes so much of my time to get there but the best part of my drive is that I get to spend it with God and myself. There are no distractions (other than bad traffic) while I drive. I had a few bumps in the road getting there i.e. no cruse, no 12V outlets that work, and bad radio. But this gave me a greater chance of staying awake and also to bring grace to those involved in the car rental.

Once down there I have the chance to not only catch up with those that I am online with for the past 9 months or so but also I have the chance to be blessed by some great professors. To have these people pray for us, care for us, and share in our ministry struggle is something that has brought great passion and joy in my personal life.

In the past three years I have had such a great time getting to know around 10 or so people from different church denominations. The blessing comes when these people share in your life. They share in your ministry, they share in your family, and they share in your personal struggles. It is amazing how God knows who you need and how that person can be a blessing in your life.

Blessings all over! I cannot wait for the last year of my schooling. I struggle to think that I am almost done and am sad that there is a chance many of these people may drop out of my life and ministry circles. But God will bring new people into my path.

Another week

I am on the IWU campus for another week. It is nice to be here and to learn during an intense week of classes but it is hard to be away from my wife and son for a week. I have had the chance to sit in on a great session my first day and my professor in his words "destroyed Christmas" for us. It was really good though to hear about what the birth of Christ was really like.

I am getting closer and closer to what God has for me and so it gets hard at times to finish. The race is almost over yet it feels like I have so much to do to finish my MDIV. I can honestly say that Wesley Seminary has been a place that I have grown and learned more than I could have imagined. The professors have been great and the fellow students have uplifted me and challenged me when I may have wanted to quit. God has a great plan for my life and my family. We are along for the ride.

Ryan

Growing up...

At times this is the hardest thing to do. As we age we still want to go back and remember the past and at times we try to relive those memories. I was together with some cousins last night and each and every time we are together we can talk about old memories like they just happened. Luke 18:17 says that unless you you accept the kingdom like one of these children you will not inherit the kingdom of God. When you see this you wonder what was he meaning? As you look at the previous verse you see how the disciples were trying to keep the kids from Jesus. But Jesus wanted them and their innocent lives to come to him. To come and accept Jesus as he was and to grow in love for him. There is nothing wrong with remembering the past it can bring us great joy. But let us not live there...


But yet God does not ask or want us to stay there in our lives for him. He calls us to a deeper level of love for him. We are called to live to a higher level. He calls us to grow up and to move to maturity. Here is what Romans 12:1-2 says:


"So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." (The Message)

I just love how this puts it. Give it all to him. It is hard for an adult to do this let alone a child. That is why we need to grow up in him. We need to love towards this type of lifestyle. What an honor that God has called us to something beyond just acting like a child all the time. Could you imagine if we all still acted like kids in our daily lives? We already have this with some of our family. They refuse to grow up and act like little kids. Why do we want to do this with our faith? Why do we want to act like little kids with our faith? I challenge you as I challenge myself to grow up in your faith. Act like you mean it and want something deeper. When you look back in 1,5,10 years what do you want to look like? The same kid?


Be different! Grow up because the life in Christ gets better with age!

Ryan

When the Passion seems lost...

I wish that I can say that this has never happened with my life in Christ. I wish that I could tell you that I have always been in love with him and that my life has always been filled with nothing but a passion for him. But there have been times when I am not sure where I am at or what I am doing. Many of the times I forget who I am to God. And who God can be to be when I am reminded of God really is for me.

Brennan Manning shared in his book Abba's Child that to often to are blinded by the earthly version of what we see God as. In his book he tells a story of an old man walking with his nephew. As the sun was setting the uncle started to skip down the road. The nephew stopped him and asked him why he was skipping? He said, "Because, you see my Abba is very fond of me." This man knew who he was and he knew where his life was at in Christ. His passion was right there. Yes MY Abba is very fond of me.

What if you started living in the promise that our Abba is fond of me. Not just that he loves you but that he is fond of you. What a difference maker in our lives. To know that your Abba is fond of you. About two years ago I went through a three week span where I was down and out. I was discouraged and wanted to leave the ministry. Things were not going well and I did not have the passion for ministry and did not feel the passion for my Abba that I remembered. But one morning I was walking with my dogs, while as I was walking I had this overwhelming sense and passion flood my soul. I felt God coming all over me letting me know he was fond of me. I had read this from Manning's book almost three years earlier but the understanding that I was his beloved and that my Abba was fond of me absolutely flooded my soul.

I must have looked like some kind of odd ball walking my dogs and sobbing. I was in tears because I was remembering the passion that He had for me. Mark Batterson in his book, In a pit with a lion on a snowy day, shares that the two ways Satan uses to neutralize us spiritually is discouragement and fear. I know that for me these two things are used very heavily in my life. But because i am aware of this I can keep my eyes fixed on Jesus who is the author and perfecter of my life (Hebrews 12).

SO WHAT? When the passion seems lost, I need to remember "My Abba is fond of me". I can lean on the promise that God is good, all the time. It might not always feel like that, but it is true. God has such a passion for me and he wants to foster that passion in us for himself and for the lost. Remember your Abba is fond of you. The passion is there, let him wash over you.

Thank you my Abba Father for being fond of me...

Embrace this place...Embrace me

Last night as I was asleep I awoke to a small cry. I knew that it was my son so I got up to see what was wrong. When I went into his room I expected to see him standing up looking for either my wife or myself. He was not standing but rather still laying down in the bed crying out to us. I bent down to see what was wrong and he had somehow gotten his arm caught around one of the bars in his bed and edged up against the wall. He could not get out and was in need of some help. I helped free his arm and as he was still crying a little I kissed his arm where it had been stuck. He immediately buried his head into my chest started to suck his thumb and hold onto my shirt.

He was still really sad and and started to calm down a little bit but as I held him there I was so grateful that my son was willing to call out to me in his time of need. As I held him for a moment while he relaxed and fell back asleep my mind went to how much he has changed over the past year. But one thing that has been consistent is that when he is in trouble or in need is calls out to his parents and we respond. I hope that he continues to grow up and mature. But I pray that he will always call out to us when he is in trouble as well as call out to his heavenly father.

As I placed him down I was reminded of a song that we used to sing when we were in college. Embrace This Place, it was usually played by John and he was so humble in how he would play it and be in tune with God. The song talks about allowing us to draw near to God. How we want to see God in his glory and we want God to embrace the place where we are at. But I love the part where the song shares that we can lay our head on His chest and have our hearts with his.

I was so reminded of this last night as my son was willing to call out to us when he was in need and it was such a special time that I could hold him and have him lay his head on my chest and allow me to embrace him. I pray that God would come and embrace me today. I love the fact that my ABBA, my Daddy, will come to my aid when I am in need. Luke 15 shares of how the Prodigal Son comes home and is embraced by his father.

If you have not experienced this I can tell you that there is nothing like being in the arms of your Abba. He is one that will allow you to cry, sing for joy, and pound on his chest. He just loves to have his child call out to him. He will come running to you. I can tell you this with authority because I have experienced it many times over and hope to pass on this to my son. Will you cry out to God when you are in need? Will you allow yourself to be embraced by your Abba Father today?

Ryan

New Start

I had the chance to preach for a friend this past weekend and it was such a blessing. His church is making a transformation and the people are so kind and loving. While I missed being with my church this past Sunday it was such a blessing to be with these people. Seeing the transformation that God has given them has restored hope for me in other churches around that are struggling and not doing what God has called them too. If we are willing to stop what we are doing and start to allow ourselves to follow after the Missio Dei in our lives we could really transform what we are doing and who we are trying to reach.

I spoke on not allowing ourselves to have things i.e. sin control our lives. We at times can allow fear or sinful desires to pull the strings in our lives to keep us from all that God has for us. Think about all the things that we are missing because we have the fear in our lives that it might not be all that we want it to be. Think about the plans that we had for our lives that have not done well and why? Many times we try and get God to do our plan for our lives rather than to do what God has for us.

Dennis Kinlaw shares in his book, "Preaching in the Spirit", that we want to know the will of God not because we want to know but rather we want to place our stamp of approval onto it. I look at my own life when I see this and it helps me to keep things in focus. I do not need to be the one in control and I am so happy that God is the one calling the shots in my life. Please Lord guide me to where you want me to go.

Your thoughts?
Ryan

That is not my whole story...

I have had a rough last few days. I have been under attack and do not feel as if I know who I am at times. I took it from a Brennan Manning book, 'The Furious Longing". If you have a chance to read it I would highly recommend it. God has been changing and shaping my life. I have to remember where my foundation is and who I actually am in Christ. I am loved by my Abba.

He is fond of me.
Did you know that? It took me a while to understand this and at times i still do not understand this all the time. But my Abba if fond of me. He really wants to know me and get into my life. It is not just a passing feeling but my Abba is fond of me. For those of you who do not know what the word Abba means it is translated Daddy. Imagine Jesus calling out to his Daddy Father. How personally and intimate this name is for him. And this is for us as well. When we (I) understand where we are and who we are calling out to it should change the whole game for us.

I have a Father, a Daddy Father, who is fond of me. HE IS FOND OF ME? I still find this hard to believe and understand at times. But I remember that even though Satan is attacking me right now I am loved and my name is His Beloved.

Where is my power?

So as many of you know people in Minnesota lost power last week. My family has been without power since 8 pm Friday night. Yes I remember the time because there was a huge fireball shooting from the power line by my house. We we have a power line down in our front yard and no power. Thankfully we had people step up and offer us places to stay and places for our food to stay as well. What a blessing to have this. It has been very frustrating to wait for our power to come back on while the people across the street have power. Just one line down in our yard could make the difference between power and no power.

I know that people are working really hard to get us our power back and I have been so thankful to the people in our church for helping us out. Where is my power? My ultimate power is in something greater than myself. It is in my ABBA from heaven. He is the one that gives me what I need. The idea from Brennan Manning that "my abba is found of me" has rung true as the last three days have come and gone.

I pray that my power comes back on VERY soon but until then I will allow my abba to give me his power as well as the blessings he has for me.

What can God do?

I have been thinking a lot over the past week or so about what can God do. Mostly I am thinking about what God could do with me. I am not the greatest at much and I am not the biggest guy. But I constantly wonder what God could do with me. I know that he did so much with so many people in the bible and some of them were nothing special, at least in the beginning. One thing that sticks out to me is when Samuel keeps hearing the voice of God and thinks it is someone else. When Here hears someone call his name and he thinks it is Eli. But it is not rather it is God. Eli eventually catches on and understands that it is God called Samuel. I think that it is amazing each time he hears the voice his response is not to turn over or turn the music up louder but rather each time he says, "Here I am". The passage talks about how Samuel had not yet heard the voice of the Lord and so he did not know it. So Eli teaches him.

I think that it is so amazing what I have been given. I have been given the chance to speak into the lives of young people and help them start to hear the voice of God. God is calling our young people and what are we doing to help them hear the voice? What are we doing to help them listen and respond correctly? Are we bringing them into the presence of God? Are we showing them with our actions? Are we encouraging them to come to church and participate in small groups (teen group) with other people their age?

I am not sure about you but I am doing what I can with the kids God is placing in my life to help them to hear the voice of God and see what God can do with their lives. I am thankful for the parents in my church who make God a huge priority in their kids lives. I am thankful for the teens that make it a priority in their lives. But to those who are not it is not to late to help them turn and say, "Speak, LORD,  for your servant is listening."

That is what I want, I want my words to be, "Speak,LORD,  for your servant is listening." I hope that this are not just my words but my teens words and eventually my sons words as well. What can God do with me? It starts with listening for the voice of God and then just responding in humility,  "Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening."

Back at Home

My son and I took a few days to go out to my parents house as my wife was out of town with our church kids. I was thinking this morning how blessed I am to have a wife that is willing to sacrifice her time and effort in order to bring kids to camp. These kids are getting a chance, for one week to be surrounded by Christ. They all have godly families but this is a chance for them to disconnect from the things that are normally around them and connect to Christ.

It was a great chance to get away for me to get away and try and connect to what God has for me. I am praying for God to bring passion and love for people into the lives of the lives of our youth.
Here are my 5 areas I want to see our teens strive for:

1. Have a friend, Be a friend
2. Read your Bible
3. Serve once a month
4. Invest and Invite
5. Do the NEXT right thing

Lord Help Us-

#$%@ People Say To Transracial Families

I had watched this about a year ago after we had gotten home with our son. Some people I tell ya!

Another Wedding

My wife and I had the joy of doing the ceremony for my sister and her husband almost two weeks ago. It was my second wedding and the first for my wife. It was such a blessing to perform the ceremony and see two people come together in a union with Christ.

I used the passage from Joshua 1, in which Joshua is getting his instructions from God as he is going to be taking over the leadership position with the people of Israel. I cannot tell you how often I have had this passage come back to me when I am in a time of need. How blessed we are to have a God that is there for us. What a great thought that he loves us in such a way that he is willing to come to us and let us know that we can be strong and courageous when we might be struggling. It helps me when I am dealing with stress or things in my life that might be overwhelming or attacking my spiritual life.

I am grateful for a wife in my life that cares for me. I am so blessed that we have done this life together and that we have God as our center. For those that are struggling with where God is or what he has for you, just remember that He has said that he will be with you and will not leave you. I know it is corny and a little cheesy but I remember that poem of the feet in the sand. Why were there only one set? Because God might be carrying you through something that you did not know.

Blessings-
Ryan

Adoptive Father, Adoptive Son

So our son is now a year old. My fathering skills have had a year to grow. I am not sure how much better I am that I was a year ago but I know that I am faster at changing diapers and according to +Mark Zubert I am a pretty good at humming.

In the past few weeks I have become more aware of the people around me. I have started to notice how people look at me and how they then look at me when I am with my son. Many of them will not approach me or talk with me. Maybe it is the crazy beard? If people that have questions would be willing to come and ask or talk with us I would be more than happy to share our story. It is a pretty awesome story if I do say so.

No one reads this blog but just in case someone does I would like to share a few things with you from an adoptive fathers perspective:

1. If you would say it to a family with biological kids then it should be ok to say to adoptive families.
- A lady came up to us the other day and said, "Boy is he so lucky to have you guys." But I did not see other families get that as well. I feel that it is being said to us because my son is adopted. Yeah he is lucky to have great parents, but are not all our kids lucky to have parents that love them and love each other. Are they not all lucky to have people care for them and love them without bringing harm to them? Is he really lucky or is it the blessing of God? Does God just know what we need better than what we do?

2. Ask questions do not give statements.
- I think that this is something that people do not think of. Rather than asking you about your story and process they give statements that then make us as adoptive father's pull back with a sting of pain. I would love to answer questions that people have and I try to understand that at times most people are ignorant of adoption and all that goes into it.

3. Watch what you are saying...
- I think that it is easy for some people just to say things because they think it might be funny. Our family is transracial and so we deal with racial comments once in a while. I was talking with my wife and we started talking about the various things that have been said to us or our son over the past year. People will say things to him because of his race that they think is funny. How do we handle it? We have to handle it different than other things especially now that he is starting to get the point of understanding what is being said to him. Some people do not mean to be mean but are. They are ignorant of the idea that their words could be hurtful. We as his parents have a chance to show him how he can react to these comments. We can react with humor and then he will use that to deflect  pain. We can use anger to deflect these comments but then he will use anger and that is not something that we want. Or we can show him how to explain who he is and what his story is to people, to stop the ignorant comments and bring knowledge to them.

I love being a father...Yes I am a father of a child who skin color is not like mine but that is similar to so many people today. I ask that before you make a comment stop and ask how this is going to come off. I love to tell our story and answer questions people have. I never know who could benefit from our story or who could be in a place I was just a few years ago. What does God have for us? I have no idea but I am excited to share it with you.