Ride or Die...Heart and Soul

About 4 years ago I was driving around Madrid, IA. I was working in hospice at the time as a Chaplain. On most of my drives I would consume podcasts like they were half price after Easter jelly beans. On this day Dylan sent me a podcast and told me to listen. As I pulled it up on my phone and started to listen it spoke deeply to me. The pastors on the podcast shared about how the two of them started at a church together and how in those early years they decided that them and their families would covenant with each other at that church for life.

I sent Dylan a message after listening to it and asked him if he was in. Are our families going to covenant together here for life. Ride or Die.

He said he was in. Ride or Die. It felt like a natural progression. It was a fit for us.

We talked more in a face to face visit about this and that was it. I came home and told Sarah with tears in my eyes, Ride or Die we are in this for life with the Does.

It was odd, there was no fear in it at all. Joy. Lots of joy. This is something that I had no intentions to step into when we said yes to Marshalltown. But over the first few months that was it, we were in.

Flash forward to this last October, I had been coming to the end of the worst 2-3 month stretch ever in ministry. It was horrible. My relationship with Dylan had gone down hill and I was miserable in ministry. I was feeling isolated. Hurt. I was done. As I sat in my office on my lunch break I typed up my letter of resignation. It was a horrible moment, it was something I never thought I would do, I was was broken.

I sent Dylan a text message asking if he wanted to get together. He met and after a few awkward moments I shared with him my heart. I shared about my brokenness and hurt from the last 2-3 months. But here is the funny thing...as I shared I could see deep brokenness in his face. This was unlike anything I had witnessed before. He shared how he was feeling betrayed that I would not have shared this sooner. He was sorry and apologized for where I was hurting. After deeper conversation I shared with him that I had a letter of resignation ready.

Dylan shared with me that if I gave it to him he was going to refuse it. He told me that we had made a covenant with each other...Ride or Die. That we had to do what we needed to work this out.

Fast forward almost 6 months.

I have been in counseling this past year, working through a lot of stuff. Learning to die to myself and letting God heal in my hurts. The last few weeks have been tough, I preached on 1 Sam 14, and in this passage Jonathan and his armor bearer are going up the side of a mountain for a really tough battle. Jonathan asks his armor bearer are you with me?

The response stopped me in my tracks (mentally), Do all that you have in mind...I am with you heart and soul.

This has been now part of my mantra with him...Ride or Die...heart and soul.

I told a friend of mine from seminary about the covenant, and he shared that he had not heard of something like that before. And that is because it is not for everyone. Honestly it is not for most people. I just know that for our families, that is it. Here and now. Ride or Die.

I do believe that you need someone like this in your life. It might not mean you live in the same town or that you covenant to pastor together forever. Most cannot do that. We are weird.

I have found out that for this covenant to work there can be nothing between us. There has been more tears shed and more hurt over the last 6 months than I can ever remember having in ministry. But each time...when either of us feels down. We have called each other, at some point in the conversation it comes up. Ride or die. We made a covenant with each other, with our families. There have been things I have shared with Dylan about being a dad that I have not shared with anyone other than my wife. Because I know...ride or die, heart and soul.

Ride or Die. Heart and Soul.