What is the Journey like Part 3

Post placement/Early months
As hard as the first two parts of this were to write this last one might be the hardest. It is hard because so many people have been kind and caring toward our family during our journey. During our son's stay in the NICU it was so hard and difficult mostly because there was not really an end in sight at times. One of those days had a remarkable ending that only God could put together.

I do not remember the day of the week but I do remember it being one of the more difficult three day stretches that we had in the NICU. It was not that our son was sick or doing bad it was a combination of him being in there, us missing home, and all the adoption stuff that drives you crazy. As we were leaving I looked over I could tell that Sarah had a particularly bad day. We got into the car and drove back very quite. Sarah said that she was going to go to the room if I would go to the lobby for plates and silverware. She hit the elevator before I did and as I was waiting there a lady came to get on with me. We smiled at each other and she told me that I had the right idea in having food here rather than ordering out. I smiled and told her that we were here from out of town picking up our son. She smiled and I am sure she could tell I was tired and worn down. We got on the elevator and she shared that she had adopted her daughter from overseas.

I will never forget what she did and said next. It still makes me cry thinking about it. She looked me in the eyes and said that when she got her daughter they had to wait 3 months before they could go pick her up. She said that it was such a struggle to wait for her and that all adoptive families will struggle and today, now, this was ours. She told me that she would be praying for us. She asked our name so she could pray for us. Now I ask you, what are the chances that in a 7 story hotel that a lady would get on at the same time as me, ride to the same floor, and speak love and grace into broken hearts like ours? I tell you that they are pretty good when you serve a God that cares and loves for you. That is just one of the stories that we remember from our time in the NICU in which God showed up and showed off for his people.

After we left the hospital and started home it has been something that I have really enjoyed. The craziness of flying with a two week old and having two guys sitting next to us, and  that one had been adopted and was from Staples, MN (right near where my family was from) and the other that had adopted, not taking no for an answer and carrying our stuff off the plane for us when we got to MN. These were small things when you look back but at the time when you have never had a child, never flown with a newborn, and are still out of your own in having been on the road for two weeks it means the world to you.

In some states you have a window of time in which the BM of BF can decide to parent. We were lucky and our BM chose to go with Utah law which is only 24 hours after birth and termination at the time of signing. This was a blessing for us because we did not have this hanging over us once we got home. We were able to learn to be a family together.

Home
Being a father for the first time was something that I will never forget. But there were times where I/we would get odd looks (some say it was my beard). It took almost 1 full year of being a family before a stranger commented towards my son and I in a positive way. A lady came up to me when I was at a grocery store with my son. She told me how beautiful he was and how happy we looked together. We chatted for a moment and then we went on our way. I guess as a father I was unaware of how we would be looked at till we were there. I think that for some people it is just a point of not knowing or being ignorant of what it is like. I love to share our story with people because it is a story of how God loves his people and loves to create our families if we let him. Whether it is biological creation or adoptive creation I suggest you allow God to be the one to guide you.

These three posts have been much longer than what I had thought they would be but I hope that God will use our story to help write yours.